How can the silence be so deafening?
Silence. It is deafening, because “rings” have been very important to me. They were our special “thing” - not rings of silver and gold, but simple phone calls. They were treasures that cannot be bought. These rings were so simple, but so meaningful - our birthday calls that came, every year, without fail. Early in the morning - that was the cue - ring…ring…ring…and I would always record it. I answered on the third or fourth ring, scrambling - so I could catch it all. Hello? His voice, becoming more and more frail every year, “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Lisa. Happy birthday to you, and I love you”. It was my Pops, my Father-in-Law, the man that was the only father I had ever really known. With the exception of my Granddaddy, this man had been one of the most influential men in my life.
There is silence in the “ring” that won’t come for Pops this year. Today - October 3, 2024, would have been his 90th birthday. We took him to the hospital July 20, thinking we were going to get him perked back up. We never dreamed of what was to come. He was transferred to Duke, where his doctors and the staff did everything they could for him. In the end, this included getting his bed moved to see out a different window with a view of flags (to salute) and the life flight helipad, getting him up in a wheelchair to see some nature on the campus, and finally, home to his porch one more time - still being a stinker and sticking his tongue out, no less. “You never know when the last time will be the last time…”
Although it wasn’t either of our birthdays, “I love you” flowed freely between the two of us in those weeks. Our family left nothing unsaid, and we are thankful for the time. Pops went to be with Jesus on August 3, 2024. Our last birthday call came on my birthday, this year in February. Like so many others, I have it recorded. The other night, Garry and I went through the recordings, I have them back to 2016. I wish I knew when we started the tradition. I even wish I knew how the tradition started. I guess it does not matter, because I am so glad it did.
“If I had only known the last time would be the last time
I would've put off all the things I had to do
I would've stayed a little longer, held on a little tighter
Now what I'd give for one more day with you
'Cause there's a wound here in my heart where something's missing
And they tell me that it's gonna heal with time
But I know you're in a place where all your wounds have been erased
And knowing yours are healed is healing mine
I know the road you walked was anything but easy
You picked up your share of scars along the way
Oh, but now you're standing in the sun, you've fought your fight and your race is run
The pain is all a million miles away
The only scars in Heaven, they won't belong to me and you
There'll be no such thing as broken, and all the old will be made new
And the thought that makes me smile now, even as the tears fall down
Is that the only scars in Heaven are on the hands that hold you now”
(Songwriters: John Mark Hall / Matthew Joseph West)
Ring…ring…ring…
“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday…in Heaven, Pops, I love you.”
The silence, from now on, will be deafening.
Blessings ~
Lisa