Do You Want Successful Children? Teach Them to Go Alone but Never Alone
Every night…before bed…the same words…sung, not spoken, after story time. The melody was one I composed to comfort you, and it accompanied one of your favorite books by Robert Munich. As I held you, before you would close your eyes to sleep, I sang, “I’ll love you forever. I’ll like you for always. As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” (I was so thankful for your progression from the finance commercial that I had to learn to sing when you were a baby because – for some reason unbeknownst to me – it was soothing to you and instantly stopped you from crying, but I digress…). These were precious moments. Your childhood held so many others. One of our favorites, immortalized in an oil painting by Wendy Shelley, is you being thrown in the air by your dad after begging for him to “fa-da”, your pre-verbal-perfection attempt to say “throw me away”. Other cherished memories for us include “grunt hugs”, being given “Doodlebug rocks” for us to keep, seeing you “cruise” the yard in both your Power Wheels car (…and yes, your dad confessed about removing the governing screw to make it go faster) and, eventually, the lawn mower (which you loved – and so did we ;-).
We truly loved spending time with you as you were growing up. The four-wheeler rides through the pasture, the times watching our favorite shows in our double recliner (that I had to buy so that we could continue to sit side by side as long as you wanted to), the nightly milkshake creation sessions with you at your dad’s side at the kitchen counter, the trips to see CATS and The Wizard of Oz in Raleigh (and singing along to every song in the family room), the treasure hunts, shooting competitions, basketball games, karate sessions, and simply the trips to and from school every day…all treasured moments...that passed by too quickly. This reminds me of a quote by Steve Biddulph, “The years will rush by, and one day you will be watching your son as a man, and feeling incredibly proud that he is caring, safe, making a contribution, and hopefully going far beyond you in the scope of his life.”
This week, as we are preparing to celebrate your graduate school commencement at just 22 years old, we just want you to know just how much we love you and how proud we are of you. Of course, we are proud of your academic and occupational achievements, but we are proud of your “graduation” into manhood. We are proud that you still take the time to think of ways to help us, even when you don’t have time for yourself. We are proud that you have the character and the discipline to apply the lessons we taught you, consistently, when the choices are yours, alone, to make. We are proud that you never waver in your dedicated service to God and the church, even when it has been hard. We are proud you are an honorable man.
Parents, moments with our children are precious…but fleeting. As Anne Bronte expressed, “If you would have your son to walk honorably through the world, you must not attempt to clear the stones from his path, but teach him to walk firmly over them – not insist upon leading him by the hand, but let him learn to go alone.” Cameron, you have learned to go alone, but, as long as we are living, you will never be alone.
Blessings ~
Lisa